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Wrath
Uh-oh! Watch out! Requisite parental bitch-fit to rapidly ensue: Don’t you touch them. That’s all. You don’t get to. For as pissed as I get with my husband for his weight gain and lack of ambition, you’d best be happy that he outweighs me by 100+ pounds after you nearly run over him AND my 13-year-old… Read more
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‘Be …’
I don’t know why I always think of this SNL skit when I see Tom Brady except, of course, there’s a lot of truth to it. The moral of the story is that to avoid sexual harassment claims, one needs to: Be Handsome Be Attractive Don’t be unattractive But with the Patriots’ bizarre loss to the Cleveland… Read more
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Dickens kind of day
Hauling my black rolling suitcase down the hotel hallway at 5 a.m., I pass the doors behind which my colleagues sleep. Singing Journey’s Lovin’, Touchin’, Squeezin’ quietly to myself I tear off the badge and toss it away. I am done. The stench of spicy breakfast burritos at the airport further sickens me, the rancid complement… Read more
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Refugees
It really doesn’t matter whether tea is bad for plants because my pitcher is half full and I need to dump it somewhere. If the leaves wither, well, I might feel the slightest bit sorry, but I won’t cry because they’re not really mine. They were abandon and I’ve simply watered them. Read more