• I was . . .

    Many times a day I feel like yelling, “I was attractive once!” But since Kevin pointed out to me that self-deprecation doesn’t suit me and that I should know full well that I am still attractive, I’ve been far more careful of blurting out such things. In fact, when someone now looks for affirmation from me… Read more

  • Tripping Raul at the liquor store

    The line is three people deep and I’m thinking, ‘Gads, I hope she doesn’t ask me how my night is going. She don’t wanna know.’ I’m up, she asks, I spill. “I TESTED THE LINKS ALL DAY AND I DIDN’T CHECK THE TEST MESSAGE I GUESS AND FOUR DEAD LINKS WENT OUT TO THREE-HUNDRED-THOUSAND PEOPLE!!!”… Read more

  • Second verse, same as the first

    Hiking up the killer hill every morning, sometimes again in the afternoon; dollar-sized bruise on the ball of my foot after tripping and stepping on a sharp rock while river wading; awesome; choking on the dust on the second ATV while giggling as we puddle jump going up Red Creek; pulling splinters from my knee;… Read more

  • Midlife crisis

    Dexter is my midlife crisis. He’s big and brutish and a bit of a bully, but only to people who pick on us. Unlike the 50ish man who gets a red Corvette to compensate for his increased lack of hair (oxymoron!) or his inability to get it up, I have my Ford F150 dual cab, circa 1998, because… Read more

  • The Fox and the Stork

    “Awesome” time, as Dad would quip. One-hundred-plus degrees, sitting in the shade in the front and back yards, talk of Steve McQueen, Audie Murphy, “that God-damn” Duvall, buzz cuts, shooting archery until Edisonsblackdahlia’s fingers ripped open, lamenting that I suffered nary a bruise, homemade soup, teasing, Three Dog Night, speed walking at the mall, and my dad’s stories of… Read more

  • ACK!

    I dreamed last night that I misspelled ‘committed’ in a headline in a print publication. I was missing an ‘m.’ I woke up distressed before realizing it wasn’t real, only to come down to blog about it and find that I had numerous typos in the last post. Jesus! I had been flustered and had… Read more