At Least They're Committed

Ellen and I are going to tea and tarot on Friday. I’m so excited! The house will be on the market soon after and I’ll be gearing up to go to the AI conference in Cleveland and since Brian lives there we’ll find a way to catch up. Seems like an appropriate time to look into the future, right?

What? You’re wondering how I can possibly be She Who Speaks to the Angels and Prays and be good with a tarot card reading? Is that not sacrilege? As a matter of spirituality, it is not. I always pray beforehand and talk to Gabriel and all of my heavenly hosts asking, “If there is something I need to hear or see that I am not, please channel it through this reading.”

I do believe that there are mediums out there who are gifted/cursed to see what is before, beyond and ahead. I’ve heard that you can be enlightened in this way if you take certain steps into the spiritual realm, open your mind, and ask for this gift. I’ll take a hard pass on that one!

Having not even known what a ‘spirit board’ was and quickly leaving the room when one was whipped out at a fifth-grade slumber party, I already somehow knew my place in the world and bein’ a psychic, shaman or medium was not it.

This will be the fifth time I’ve done this, I believe. Or maybe only the fourth. It’s not like everything that appears or is interpreted will come to pass. It’s rather like medicine, really. A ‘prognosis.’

The whole time-space continuum is a blur when you think about it. Soon after 9-11, D was picking me up from the park-n-ride and we offered a young woman I had been talking to on the bus a lift to her uncle’s house. She had the address and we knew where the complex was. At the airport, I had noticed her asking a bus driver before boarding if that was the right bus to get her to this certain area of town. I’m not sure what the bus driver was telling her, but that was not the bus she needed so I intervened. “The bus stop I’m going to is right where you need to be!” So she followed me.

I wish I could remember what we talked about, but the blonde, young, pretty early 20s-ish gal seemed a bit confused and troubled. We all hopped in the van and drove to the condos where her uncle lived, “This is it!” she said emphatically. “Where the garage door is open!”

Yay! We pulled in, a few yards away from the door, she hopped out, the back car door closed and we looked to see where she went — you know, making sure she was at the right place. But she wasn’t there. She really was . not . there. Vanished. Disappeared. We waited. Shocked. She had a rolling suitcase half her size, how could she just not be there? After several minutes, we pulled away.

Sometimes still, when we drive past those condos I’ll say to D, “Remember the time . . . ” and he’ll say, “Yup.” And we leave it at that and just pray that whatever her circumstance was, we helped her get where she needed to be.

One thing I do know I want from this reading is that it is about ME! The last time, we determined I was channeling D, the time before it seems it was about my mother-in-law and twice I was told by mystics that she was weary and would find peace in the next life and she’s still here and still weary and still not at peace anywhere. The first time was on behalf of my son who was going through a wildly troubling time thanks to sabotage by people he thought were his friends. (He’s MUCH better now!)

If there is any channeling on Friday, I want to see about meeeee. I’m very aware that I’m living for everyone but myself at the moment — we are after all the sandwich generation and as such I have two work trips and two family trips in the next five weeks — so I’d like help planning ahead.

Questions:

• Am I supposed to be here for a long time? If so, what do I need to do to make sure I’m still lucid and mobile and not a burden to my family?
• What do I/we need to do to prepare for the future? Should I start Social Security soon? I rather like the notion of just socking that money away each month so it can go to my children and grandchildren when I’m gone.
• When should we retire? I’ll always continue working at something, but fewer work commitments and more volunteering would be lovely.

I have a distinct memory of my Great Grandpa Royce from when I was maybe 4 years old. There was a Royce family gathering, I don’t know where, but all the Royce children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren were playing in the lush green grass around a cabin with an expansive yard area. The children were running past each other playing tag and laughing even though most of us had never met before.

Great-grandpa was a tall, handsome, slender man with a brilliant frock of white hair atop his head. I remember him grinning. He was just sitting there by himself while the adults were behind preparing the plates for the picnic, and he was grinning — not smiling or laughing and not at anyone in particular but at all of it. All of us. He was radiating joy and thinking that, yup, they’d done good.

If it is God’s will, that scenario would work great for me.