At Least They're Committed

Creating my to-do list for tomorrow, it crossed my mind that, oh, I’ll be home from Junction by then and will have access to a few more resources . . . or I could die and not have to worry about work ever again. (Bill Burr did a great comedy sketch on that.)

I‘m multitasking! It has been two weeks since I started writing this and now I’m at home on the couch composing and watching The Equalizer 3 at the same time.

Four months ago I received an assignment to create a stats report. I couldn’t do anything until I got the numbers, and I got the numbers right before Christmas break (those had to be compiled by another area of the team), but I’m a word person and though I have researched and tested and re-researched and retested for months, I do not have the skillset to build an attractive, searchable and accurate statistical report. So, despite having a wonderful family and fantastic friends, as I am writing this I wish I were dead.

Damn, that’s brutal. Shoving the barrel of the pistol through a bad dude’s eye then shooting other villains out of the back of Dude’s head.

In my pitious sulking I allow myself to lament, “Haven’t I done enough?” I realize that there is no such thing as fair and unfair in this three-dimensional world and I’m grateful that I’ve made a difference in my career, but now I still have to work and I am utterly flummoxed about creating a report, which is so far outside of my purview I feel like killing myself. (Run-on!)

While agonizing over my ghastly and wretched plight (hyperbole) while making my bed yesterday, I kept telling myself, “You know what, TR, you’ve been in this position before.” Not tasked with creating a statistical report, mind you, but being in way over your head. And, guess what? “You’re still here and you can’t even remember what those past dreadful assignments were.”

Oh, really? Super arrogant bad guy is in church? On this knees? This guy is extorting money from poor people who live in the slums he owns and has gone so far as to lynch a wheelchair-bound old man over the railing and then tells his minions to leave the body there as a warning to others. He can’t possibly think he is able to do these things because he is blessed by God, can he?

This morning, I said my prayers as usual and that did uplift me a bit. Plus, D has been sending me positive vibes and I could feel those, too. I reworked the graphics for the report and although it’s not ideal, one colleague has said it looks good to him, so if it’s good with the others, guess what? I will have once again overcome this life-shattering adversity (more hyperbole).

You can feel bad for people who are driven to become minions when they are deeply impoverished or their families are being threatened. But not when they throw old men off balconies and riddle people with bullets or slit throats of innocents — no excuses. As I’ve mentioned before, I realize now there is a hell and the older I get the more I sense souls who — if not right out going there — are stellar candidates for spending time in the ooze. Not that I’m anyone’s judge, of course.

The stats report is published — no pushback from the public, yay. I’ll have to do this once a month, but I’m good at keeping up with these tasks and the templates I created in Canva will continue to do right by me. The graphics are not searchable, but until someone comes up with a program I can access for such charts, I’m not going to stress about it. There ya go, TR! You lived to see another week and the kids are coming over tonight for a birthday celebration and all the bad guys in The Equilizer 3 are dead and that man got his pension back and beautiful McCall is living happily in a small town in Italy.

Ah, I just love happy endings.