At Least They're Committed

Watching TikTok or Facebook reels, my algorithm often gravitates toward individuals who discuss past lives and karma and why, for heaven’s sake, we are here. Fair enough. I’ve been aware, maybe my entire earthly life, that I pre-existed.

When very little, I used to astral project and float down the stairs at 3369 Beaumont. I remember lightness of being, cool freedom and a blissful escape from a scary world. I didn’t know what to term it until decades later, but holy cow it felt remarkable. That is until I evidently got too old for that and accidently took my body with me: arms, legs, hands, feet and head clunking against the hardwood all 978 steps down. (Well, that’s how it felt!)

On an even lighter note (heh), prayer reels are high on my list, too. One or two a day in addition to my regular prayer regimen is common for me.

I have on rare occasions since had ‘out of body’ experiences, but for the most part I have been stuck here. It was always frustrating to realize I could not go from Point A to Point B without taking my body with me. Motion . . . talk about time consuming!

Before and after photo reels of reformed addicts and makeovers for homeless/downtrodden individuals to remind them they are beautiful and special are some others I find inspirational.

The ‘karma brought you back here’ angle rings true to me. I feel like I’ve lived before. I have flashes of being a really homely, flat-faced, small-eyed woman with thin, frizzy hair. I was put in front of the line in battle, I think in part because I was a decent warrior, but in most part because I was small and expendable. Regardless, I was nearly sliced in half from the left neck area to below my right ribcage. Recently, I learned the tool I ‘felt’ was one iteration of a polearm. As I was watching my final seconds from above, I thought, “Well, that was quick.”

Some of the self-proclaimed diviners assert that we come back to this three-dimensional world until our karma is cleansed to its highest level of purity, and then we’re allowed to stay in the true dimension. And, sure, my spirit also finds this feasible.

Other reels I love to watch are colorblind people getting special glasses and seeing the beauty of chroma for the first time. Or families being reunited with lost dogs. Or military homecomings. *Sniff* Happy tears for all!

Years back, when I was very pregnant, my screen at work seemed to go blank for a moment and as I blinked I saw a vision of myself in pioneer days — except I had dark, long hair — wearing a simple white gown, lace across the upper chest, laid out in a rough wooden casket. In my left arm lay a newborn baby, dead like me, with bunches of black hair atop his head. Terrified, I left early for maternity leave, went to the doctor and realized after an emergency C-section that Dante and I would have died in that time period. And probably did. Thank you God for modern medicine!

Which is another topic on these reels that explore the prospect of former lives: Having the same family members over and over again. There was a really cool-yet-disturbing X-Files on that once called The Fields Where I Died. Anyway, when Dante was safely outside of me and, with his dark tufts of hair both of us breathing and very much alive, I remember thinking, “We made it this time, buddy! We made it!” His hair was exactly like in the vision.

I should note that I watch these reels when I’m exercising on the stationary bike. It’s not like I sit around all day on my phone. More fav reels: I don’t think anyone can get enough of RxCKSTxR‘s voice overs. Laugh-out-loud funny!

There are times when I look at people — older, same-aged, or younger than me — and think, “Well, they are a young soul.” I shrug at their foolishness and wish them well, thinking, “They’ll learn. If not in this life, in the next.”

Or maybe never. Some souls are on the cusp — the potential to be a truly good person in the eyes of God and a gift for all He has created, but also to sell-out their souls and, having used up their do-overs, deserve to be cast into the pits of hell — and perhaps this lifetime is their final chance at salvation. (Yes, horrid sentence structure, I’m aware! Ha!)

In my youngest years, I did not believe in hell. “There is good in everyone, isn’t there? Surely, God would see that in all of us!” Later, I started thinking hell was reserved for the extremes, Hitler, Stalin, Manson, the Six-Fingered Man, Trump (oh, wait, that last one’s still alive? Feh!).

But working amid rich, arrogant, self-righteous and UGLY people for 12 years (see Roald Dahl’s passage in the Twits), I’m finding hell highly likely and ultimately easy to attain.

It’s like an Oprah give away. “I bet YOU go to hell, and YOU go to hell and, congratulations, YOU get a big-ass house, plenty of money to hoard and (drumroll) a ONE-WAY TICKET TO HELL!” Although (my as-always qualifier/disclaimer) I’m not any individual person’s judge.

Ultimately, the hell discussion is one for another day.

Ooooh, angel reels! It’s not like I haven’t known these facts, but it is comforting to see others validate what I have felt all along! Thank you Gabriel! Thank you angels! Thank you God!

What troubles me is, if I have lived these past lives, since I’m here again it might mean I didn’t learn my lessons and was not a heaven-and-eternity-worthy person. I mean, what if I was a total cunt? What if I was selfish and narcissistic and, gag, rich? Now THAT is a painful non-memory. If so, All Forces Eternal, I am so sorry. To the souls I disregarded or disrespected, I am so sorry. For anyone — man or beast — who needed help and I simply walked past them, I am so terribly sorry.

I’m praying it might just have been that I always died young. I mean, I would be dead at least three times already in this lifetime if it weren’t for modern medicine and technology. Maybe my nondimensional spirit wanted to live a long time to see what that was like. When I was turning 45, I wanted a T-shirt for my birthday that said, “4….5 still alive!” (Like what Catwoman says in Batman Returns.) But I didn’t get one. No matter. My thinking at the time was, “This is a first! I’ve never lived this long! Wow!”

Perhaps my favorite reels are the street cameras that catch people doing wonderful things for each other, strangers grabbing a runaway toddler from the street, guiding cars whose occupants have had a medical emergency, stopping traffic and helping old people cross the street, snatching would-be jumpers from the ledge.

We’re here to help each other and to love, nurture and respect God’s Earth and all of its occupants. Not ourselves, not our rich bosses, not looking out only our family but all families. We’re here to search for our mission — probably one we signed up for before coming here in the first place — and to carry it out to the best of our ability once we find it. We’re here simply to do Good.