At Least They're Committed

Perhaps I no longer see them because I have willed them away. I’ve learned to create a bubble of brilliant energy that surrounds me, a forcefield of light that keeps all that is good close to me and all else . . . out.

When I was a little girl, creatures, ghosts, phantoms, you name it would walk toward me, either from the cramped cupboard or bedroom door that led to the hall on the second floor. So, yes, I am fascinated by all things otherworldly (except aliens, they don’t interest me in the least, but technically they are of this universe, so wouldn’t count anyway).

All things are made of energy, and energy can be displaced but cannot be destroyed, thus it stands to reason that as part of the universe we will always be “around” and maybe have been since the beginning of all existence. It’s beyond our scope of understanding to envision the beginning of creation, let alone our preexistence, the extent of the universe, the omnipotence of God, the resolve of the angels. But it’s all there, this I am sure of.

But I’m not sure of much else.

Going on YouTube, Fubo, Facebook, podcasts — typically while D is watching sports, which I only glance at occasionally — I gravitate toward supernatural-themed videos and shows. Things easily understood on an earthly plane are simply not that interesting to me. (That said, I do like a good murder mystery. Heh.)

My interest is piqued by haunting- and paranormal-related podcasts, reels and videos in part so I can find validation and say to myself, “Oh, yeah, that’s similar to what I experienced as a child. Huh, it wasn’t an ‘overactive imagination.’” Or the ones that are so, like, full of shit they make me laugh, “As if! Who would honestly believe this guy was possessed and ‘forced’ to beat his wife to death?”

Despite coming across that way, I’m not impressionable nor easily impressed. In general, I afford everyone I meet the benefit of the doubt (often a mistake, I know) until they prove they don’t deserve my trust or respect. But if you’re posting something online that’s a load of crap and you know it is, that’s a different story.

Native American spirituality Rez-onates with me. (Bad pun, sorry.) While my pasty-ass overseas ancestors fought to debunk all notions of existence beyond what can be seen — creating instead strict gods that gave them justification for inhumane actions — Native Americans respected and embraced the spiritual world. I follow Rez Ghost Stories on Facebook, even though it’s doubtful that I’ll ever have anything to contribute. The stories are genuine and thought provoking.

In my world, the demons do still come around in my dreams once in a while; black, writhing, filled with hate and psychological stench. Somehow I find my voice — whether in the dream, or jolting me awake to real life — and start praying the Lord’s Prayer. And they’re gone.

Yet, there was one time years back when the swirling gray and blackness was smothering me and I could neither breath or speak, let alone start to think of a prayer. Suddenly a light pierced through from another realm and in stepped Guido! He didn’t even have to say or do anything, his mere presence cast them back to the hell from whence they came. I gasped awake, and breathed. I messaged him on FB that very moment and he answered right away despite the late/early hour. I told him what happened and thanked him for being there for me. He wrote back he always would be.

Guido died in December 2021, but I have no doubt that he is still here for me. When factoring the space-time continuum, I have to wonder if he was already gone and reaching back in time for me.

There’s an archbishop on TikTok I wish I could find again because I learned a lot from him. He’s young and devoted and well-versed in demonology. He offers tips on how not to get sucked into the pit of hell, debunks fraudulent ‘true haunting’ videos and recommends when clergy should be called to intervene in home cleansings.

This archbishop (no, it’s not Monsignor Rossetti, though I heard he’s good) said he’s never seen a child spirit that was an actual ghost of a child, rather they were always demons. That really shook me. It’s not as if I’ve ever seen a child ghost, but it’s disturbing knowing something that evil can manifest as something innocent. On the other hand, it was comforting to know that souls of actual children weren’t trapped here on this earthly plane. *Shrug*

Which brings me to the alleged hauntings by former mouth-breathers. Souls so dedicated to their roles in life that they stick around the establishments after death, trying to maintain past glories or ensure their beloved institutions won’t forget them. Yawn. What a pathetic non-existence!

I have been fortunate in life to lend my skills and expertise in many facets of communications, most notably in journalism. So there’s no one place where I feel I would need to haunt or hang out. I’ve done a good job at all of them, no regrets, no need for further affirmation. I hope saying that doesn’t target me by some unseen, sinister force to be destined to become tied to a location after death. Although the ranch wouldn’t be bad, I suppose.

It’s hard to say in this three-dimensional world whether, alive or dead, you can reach out to people in dreams — bringing comfort and messages of hope to loved ones, or reminding the people who f#ck3d you over that their comeuppance is coming up, um, just like the word sounds. The first would be lovely, the second just a little lighthearted fun.

For now, I’m a spirit encased in flesh, bones and blood. Yuck. I can sit here at my desk and speculate about the Otherverse and I might be right on many counts, but likely not on others. Strangely, I find comfort and solace knowing there’s something else out there, even if it is veiled to me. And if I become concerned that maybe I’m ‘opening doors’ by watching this stuff (note, I’m watching not exploring) I have faith I can call upon that bubble of brilliant, golden energy to protect me.

I know so, or at least I pray so. I guess I won’t know until I go.