At Least They're Committed

(With the help of Chick Habit by April March)

Hang up the chick habit
Hang it up, daddy,
Or you’ll be alone in a quick . . . 

I’m hauling loads of groceries into the house when this petite female sparrow lands on the sidewalk inches in front of me.

Hang up the chick habit
Hang it up, daddy,
Or you’ll never get another fix . . .

Two male sparrows proceed to dive-bomb and start mauling her. I’m thinking it’s way too fucking late in the season for them to be trying to screw her, but then they notice each other and start instead attacking one another.

I’m telling you it’s not a trick
Pay attention, don’t be thick
Or you’re liable to get licked . . .

My hands full, I kick out at the male birds and they’re like, “Oh, shit!” and fly off.

You’re gonna see the reason why
When they’re spitting in your eye
They’ll be spitting in your eye . . .

She crouches a second more then flies the up into my tree.

Hang up the chick habit
Hang it up, daddy,
A girl’s not a tonic or a pill . . .

The males notice and circle back, first assaulting her, then again eyeing the other and fighting, clawing and pecking at their rival.

Oh, how your bubble’s gonna burst
When you meet another nurse
She’ll be driving in a hearse . . .

I put down the groceries, throw a rock into the tree and yell, “Leave her alone, you fucking, shit-eating males!”

You’re gonna need a heap of glue
When they all catch up with you
And they cut you up in two . . . 

They don’t notice. I’m thinking this must mean that it’s not only human men that are fucking morons, yet I’m also thinking that this astute observation in no way excuses homo-sapien males for being pretentious, dick-waving pieces of shit.

. . . You’re gonna see the reason why
When they’re spitting in your eye
They’ll be spitting in your eye.

( http://www.lyrics.com/chick-habit-lyrics-april-march.html#1sUgiUpjOZhLorhM.99)