At Least They're Committed

Don’t be fooled by the overt optimism, things are about as bad as I can possibly imagine and I’m desperate to get my children set up for a successful life —  meaning healthy, happy and self sufficient. Shit just keeps happening and I spend hours upon hours trying to figure out how to fix it. And although I feel like running away and secretly camping out in my office and eating Wahoo’s and Subway three meals a day, that would be abandonment and obviously, there’s no way in hell I’m going to let my children down. Too many other people have.

So the “yay” is because I’m getting signs — such as the series of songs on the radio (including, I kid you not, “What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger,” blaring when I first turned the car on — very funny, God!) as I was going to pick up EBD and get him to work when his tire blew out this morning after I got up early to run to the store to make breakfast for my children and grandson, and comforting my wounded child — that make it obvious someone is looking out for us/me. It’s gotten so bad, in fact, that I’m confident I’m doing the right thing in taking drastic steps to fix this.

Yup, shit’s going to get worse before it gets better, but I have a plan and if my family and I can keep on walking, things are just going to get awesomely, wickedly, transitionally weird. I’m giving this a year; things will be OK in a year. And who knows, maybe after that life actually can be good.