At Least They're Committed

What reminded me? What reminded me? Oh, yes. My college adviser connected with me via LinkedIn, that’s what. Hadn’t heard from him in years. We were together the morning of 9-11. I’d arranged for your mom, Dez, to stay home for just a few hours to watch your youngest uncle so I could go meet with him. It was her first stint babysitting. She never made it to school that day.

Your other uncle piled in the car with me and as I turned the ignition fully expecting to hear of nothing but Ed McCaffrey’s potentially career-ending injury, I instead flipped from channel to channel, horrified, hearing the same words, “The tower is down!”

As I drove slowly, a reporter asked a fireman as he ran up into the second tower, was he not aware that it could collapse as well? The fireman said yes he was aware, but there were people in there and he had to help. I turned to your uncle and said, “Oh, honey, we’re under attack! We haven’t been attacked on U.S. soil since Pearl Harbor!” He looked confused, I looked at the neighborhood, at the trees and the flowers and our neatly kept houses up and down the street and realized that life as we knew it was over. Your uncle saw some friends he wanted to walk with. I didn’t know what to do. Do you let them go to school? I pulled over, he squirmed out of the seat, joined his buddies and laughed, grateful for the normalcy, and I headed to the interstate.

Traffic was crawling, we were all looking at each other, car to car, in shock and disbelief. Then the second tower went down. “He’s dead,” I thought. “The fireman who ran into the tower, he’s dead now. Just like that.”

My adviser and I sat in his office, watching a television the department had on wheels so it could be moved from class to class. We stared as over and over each of the towers fell. His brother-on-law, I think it was, was in New York and he couldn’t get a hold of him, so he kept pausing to try to phone him again and again. I don’t remember what it was I initially was supposed to meet him for, but I know we never got to it. After about half an hour of nothing but watching, his words shook me out of my stupor.

“Isn’t there somewhere else you should be?” he said.

Of course, of course. “Yes,” I stood up numbly and went into the Rocky. It was not yet 10 a.m., they hadn’t called any of us, but a few of us — Mac, Michelle, me and a couple I don’t recall — just walked in like zombies and stood at the desk until the directives started coming in. It was who we were and what we did. (Mac is at the New York Times now! So happy for him!)

I’ve always liked my adviser, Kenn. He’s a big C.S. Lewis fan, like me. And now that I recall, he also wants to get a cottage in Ireland. Maybe he can go in on one with Ellen and me, if he hasn’t gotten one already.

That would kind of make sense. After all, I met him because I was supposed to.

After the Rocky became part of the JOA and my hours were cut, I tried for other jobs. Then it occurred to me, maybe I need to finally finish my bachelor’s degree. I wasn’t going to get anywhere without it, it seemed. The thought hit me so hard and resonated so strong I dreamed of it all night long. I called the J-school the next day and they put me right through to Kenn. He said that by coincidence I was just the type of student they are trying to recruit, they’d just been given the directive. He chatted with me for a long while. It — he — was a godsend.

He talked fast and quite a bit and often seemed to think I should know full well what he was talking about when I didn’t (not about journalism, I knew all that, about life stuff). But he was kind and a little troubled and it’s one of those weird situations where you feel like you could be friends and you should be friends and you’re almost friends, but not quite.

We lost touch after a while, which is the course of things sometimes. Kenn, Ray Egley (my junior college instructor who recognized my potential and guided me) and of course Brian. All three of them hold a very special place in my life and in my heart because they cared about me and guided me to where I’m at and need to be. Brian, of course, will be my friend and we’ll stay in close contact forever. I wish I could find Ray. But now, at least, I’ve heard from Kenn.

We’re supposed to go to lunch, maybe in a week or two. We’ll see. He told me where his office is at now, not realizing I’m no longer on that campus. But, hey, I go down there a lot and I have all my questions lined up for when I see him — someone who means a lot to me and always will, whether I see him again or not.