At Least They're Committed

Inwardly criticizing myself for so poorly chopping my bangs, I stand in front of the bathroom mirror combing through my wet, low-lighted hair. It occurs to me that it is wavier than it has ever been and I realize that as I ponder this important observation there is a phrase going through my head over and over. (Note my keen ability to multitask.)

“Yes, we have Nosferatu! We have Nosferatu today! It just came in the mail!” It’s a line impeccably spoken by the eloquent and endearing Harvey Korman in Mel Brooks’ Dracula: Dead and Loving It. It’s so outlandish, and yet it worked.

But, seriously, what the hell? How did that get in there?

I start backtracking in my brain. The line is a parody of “Yes, We Have No Bananas” from the 1922 musical Make it Snappy, obviously.

OK, getting somewhere, backing up, backing up. Think. I remember standing at the blender, tossing fruit into its glass jar and wanting something more, glancing across the counter and noticing, yes, we had no bananas.

Ah. Funny how the subconscious mind works, eh? I cue the hair dryer and attempt to tame my messily chopped mane while drinking my strawberry, blueberry and banana-free smoothie.