At Least They're Committed

Bios are so dreary. “I worked here and there, clawed my way up from the tar pit to become this amazing specimen of humanity.” Add to that the exaggeration and embellishment factor and you’ve got yourself historical fiction.

If I were to write my bio, honestly, it would read something like this:

Tripping Raul sometimes spends several minutes simply staring at herself in the bathroom mirror, wondering why she couldn’t have been more attractive and why people find her attractive at all. Although, to be fair, other times she looks at herself and thinks, “Damn! Am I adorable or what?”

She used to have dreams that Jim Morrison was contacting her and trying to convince her that he was alive and to please come find him.

Tripping Raul knows she’s smart, but she doesn’t think she’s really smart and often holds back or dumbs down her speech because she questions her every definition. As in, “I know that’s what caveat meant yesterday, but what if it has changed today?” 

She talks to angels and yes, she thinks they answer. Not all the time, just sometimes.

Raised by amazing parents, Tripping Raul credits them with giving her the self confidence to never feel lesser-than as a person. For all her insecurities about her intellect, after all the teasing she went through as a child because she was small, has a goofy smile and a “pig nose,” she has no problem considering herself an equal to all others in life.

She is a textbook Libra. Seriously, it’s sad.

Tripping Raul believes in God, the afterlife, prior existence, is a Jesus freak and is all about gay rights and social justice, but she’s not real fond of Christians. She thinks God likes the lost people on the streets more than just about anyone and she thinks that’s the way it should be.

She believed you. She thought it was adorable the way you protested your innocence and she wondered why you cared in the least bit about what she thinks. Of course, then she heard about the hanging all over thing and it grossed her out and painted a less-than-savory manwhore picture. Ew.

It’s not as if Tripping Raul set out to be the way she is. She feels a little silly, in fact, that she gravitates toward heavy metal and that A7X speaks to her on a personal level at her age; that they live in the same world she lives in doesn’t seem likely, but it feels that way. She never faults people who don’t like her music and would be solidly put off by someone who simply pretended to enjoy the music she likes so as to impress her.

She prefers being alone.

Tripping Raul believes that mixing work and family, say, like at a company picnic, is just wrong. Or maybe it’s just uncomfortable so she says she thinks it’s wrong. Regardless, family is by far the most important thing in her life, even though her job is her greatest obsession.

She likes sports, but doesn’t like watching sports on TV. In fact, she’s not much for sitting in front of a TV in general.

Tripping Raul has never been cheated on. Instead men tend to simply stop, finding no continued need for friends, instead gaining weight and losing ambition. Yup. Creepy. 

She sucks at house cleaning.

The end! Well, likely not. I’m sure I’ve left something relevant out, but as my dad would say, “Oh well, oh well.”