At Least They're Committed

Hell! I thought I’d made up a new word, but it’s in the dictionary with a *slash* between it and femininity and I don’t agree that they’re anything alike because you can be female and not the least bit feminine and the word femality is also reminiscent of ‘fatality’ and that seems much cooler.

I’m not real hip on my femality. I’d run out of my “stash” at work and the red purse I have is smaller than the last, black one so as I’m running to the bus this morning, I’m fumbling through my purse and, lo, the lanyard and the bus pass are wrapped around two of the stash and they go flying into the winter sunshine and I snatch one out of the air and stuff it back in my purse and the other one hits the ground as the already-near-capacity northside bus riders are looking out their windows at me and the bus driver says, “You dropped something,” and I laugh and say, “Yeah, I think I’ll let that one lie.” And, yes, I know it’s littering but I’d been through enough humiliation in those early a.m. moments and, yes, I’ll pick it up if it’s still there on my way back. Who knows, maybe someone who really needed it found it and I made her day.

Aside from sex — or what I remember of it — getting to wear makeup and having boobs and long hair, I don’t really LIKE being female or a woman or whatever. I wouldn’t want to necessarily be male either, although since I have no clear recollection of ever being male I can’t say for sure. I’ve never felt slighted or underpaid because I’m a woman. Rather I’ve felt slighted by women, possibly because I was either more talented or more attractive than they were, or the women had gotten into power and felt their novelty and power would be diminished if other women were to crash through the glass ceiling, or — and this is a biggie — I was perceived to be the dumb blonde. Yup. Don’t ask me to join any women’s groups or go to any women’s symposia or such. I guess there still might be a need for them, but not as far as I’m concerned. My dad loved me and I know I’m valued so I have no need for feminine empowerment.

To clarify, most of my friends are women. I’m not a woman whose friends are mostly dudes. And furthermore, if you hear about a catwoman symposium, bring it on! That’s something different altogether: “Sickos don’t bother me, at least they’re committed.”