At Least They're Committed

Practicing:

“Ooooh, hey <insert name here> it’s so great to see you! You look wonderful!” OK, that’s good.

“Oh, thank you! Well, I try!” Ugh. I hate compliments!

“Now, now! Stop that! Old is a state of mind. I’m not feeling the least bit old and I certainly hope you’re not either! You certainly don’t look it!” Yeah, that’s good, even though they probably do look old.

“How is your family?” Oh, no, that won’t work. I know very little about any of my classmates’ families.

The truth is I vowed — in a column read by about 5,000 people in Farmington, N.M. — that I’d never go to another one of these. So here I am feeding crow (I’d rather feed them than eat them because I think crows are cool).

After the column ran, an ancient man — skinny, white and wrinkled — sought me out, resting heavily on his cane to get up the stairs to the second floor, and asked me to reconsider. “The first one is always the worst,” he said. “People are trying to impress each other. Later, people are just happy to see each other.” He pointed an age spotted finger at me and smiled. “You should go.”

He was so dear. So very kind that his memory is engraved in my brain. So, I guess we’ll find out.