At Least They're Committed

1. Sledding is a metaphor for life. You spend 10 minutes huffing painfully through 18 inches of snow up a steep slope for 15 seconds of bliss as you speed out of mind, out of body downhill . . . then, frantic for the rush, you trudge, panting and cold and now even a little wet, back up the hill again.

2. Don’t get wasted on New Year’s Eve with a 13-year-old around because he will proceed to repeat every “brilliant” thing you said or did the night before over and over and over again.

3. Lace thongs are not good sledding attire, even — or maybe especially — when worn beneath two layers of leggings.

4. A full day of doing nothing but watching college football is just boring.

That’s it. That’s all I learned!