At Least They're Committed

I had wondered. Maybe it took longer than I thought; maybe it didn’t. Ten days.

Black, black liner and shadow encase my eyes, the whites and blue a stark foreboding contrast. Gray rouge, purple lips, I stare out the screen at the chirping  squirrels, chiding, tempting my dogs to try, just try and catch them. Wouldn’t do that if I were them. No, no. No, not long ago, as Bugaboo, Demon Spawn and I sat outside, the squirrels ran and teased. I warned them, I warned them all, but at the very moment I called out, “Shadow will get . . . ” he did precisely that. His tall, slender figure lept six feet in the air, snapping at a rodent’s flanks. The poor, stupid creature scrambled to get away, accidentally lodging its course tail between the slats of wooden fence. Shadow tore its tail off, the bloody bone flashed a moment as the beast fell to the other side of the fence. The children and I gasped. The tail hung limp between the slats and Bugaboo, a vet tech, was on her feet, running, “Get away, get baaaaaack dogs,” then, “Nooooo!!!” Beulah had leaped up behind Shadow, grabbed the tail and, in one swift motion, swallowed it. DS and I sat, mouths open in awe and disgust. Bugaboo turned and stormed back to us. “Great,” she said. “Now she’ll have worms!” And then we started to laugh, a deep, guttural, hysterical laughter all three. Gross.

So, I’m waiting now. Hands firmly on the arms of chairs, propped in front of the window, chin down and eyes rolled upward, matted hair falling into my face, not quite long enough to obscure my grimace, my scowl. Yes, 10 days. It seems that’s what it took.

Who told me to get better, and whom did not? Do you suppose they don’t want me to get better. I cock my head. They mock me. That’s OK. I do so adore being contrary. I’ll get better anyway. And when the precise moment comes, “Snap!” it will be their turn . . . just like the squirrel. Unmoving, in my chair, hunched, looking out the window, listening to the chirping of the squirrels, I smile, or snear, just a little more.

Ten days. It took 10 days.