At Least They're Committed

I’m picking through the charred remnants for puffs of yellow, non-blackened yolk and it’s just not enough. So, knowing that DSII will be up soon, I bake chocolate chip cookies instead. I almost burn those, too, except I catch them just in time and they’re just, well, a little crunchy. Mom of the year!!!

My son is up now and sitting on the stairs and I smile and wave at him. He sighs. “You’re just like some of the girls at school,” he says it as if I should be ashamed. “No, really, you’re just like allof them.” Yay! I have finally fielded my life’s ambition of emotional regression to the age of 12!!! “Come down and eat your cookies!” I quip at him. Not before his bath, he insists. Seattle grunge we are not.

I’m working from home today because it would be just silly to go downtown when nobody else is going to be there and I could get raped and murdered in my cubicle and my colleagues wouldn’t find my partially decomposed body until Jan. 5. At least that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Plus this way I can listen to my finetune 70s party mix and, if DSII doesn’t protest too much, my really guilty pleasures mix complete with Huey Lewis and the Backstreet Boys.

Oh! It’s Christmas Eve!!! Fun! I guess that’s why everyone I’ve contacted this morning has been so cheery! Even those who are at work! Happy night before your birthday Jesus and my bff Caitlin! I am WAY a Jesus freak! I don’t think most Christians are, so I don’t call myself that. Christianity has become synonamous with judgementalism and hypocrisy. I don’t even know if there’s a word ‘judgementalism’ but if not, there, I just made one! Oh, wait, I just ran a spell check. It is in there. Hmmm. I’ll have to think up another word. I do so prefer being original! Anyway, back to Jesus and Caitlin: I wrote in Caitlin’s birthday card that as far as I’m concerned she and Jesus both walk on water!! Am I clever or what?? Well, as long as I amuse myself, I guess that’s all that matters.

OK, I think I’ll go amuse myself some more in the shower. And when I’m done with that I’ll amuse myself with more work then with last minute Christmas shopping then with making church windows out of colored marshmallows, coconut and chocolate . . . if I can manage not to burn the chocolate that is.