At Least They're Committed

Yes, yes, yes! While I’m not entirelyon my own this weekend, it’s close enough. Random weekends with just me and the kids are filled with frivolity and adventure. We do radical things, like eat Brussels sprouts and popcorn for lunch and grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner. We watch really bad movies or ‘What Not to Wear.’ It rocks! And then I drink wine.

You know, I bet if I were single I’d have no problem at all keeping my weight down: 600 calories a day in protein, carbs, fruits and veggies; 600 calories in alcohol. It’s all this steak and potatoes stuff that keeps sliding straight to my @$$. No matter. I don’t care if it’s a quiet weekend or a raucous one, I’m gonna dig it.

And you know exactly what I’m going to do? Well, I don’t . . . but I guarantee you it’ll be all about me. Christ, I’ve had it with everybody always wanting crap from me. If it weren’t everyone at once — which is most the time because in my life there’s no such thing as nobody needing me to do stuff for them — I’d be fine with it. So, yeah, usually I’m cool. But lately, damn. Seems like everyone’s askin’ and expectin’ and all have forgotten to say  ‘thank you.’  

It’s good that one of my main men is away this weekend. D got all teary when we said goodbye. Separation anxiety from a 45-year-old? Dude needs to learn to have some fun! Our tax return will be in the account tomorrow, he’ll be at a conference in St. Louis . . . he needs to go find a hooker or something! In fact, I had a dream last night that he met a nice, attractive gal at a “Christian Orgy” (yeah, analyze that) who really was into him and even came and visited him the next day. I was absolutely ecstatic! I have no idea what’s up with that, but, eh, at least nobody can accuse me of being the jealous type. I’d just be thrilled if he were happy and independent and had a woman who worshiped the ground he walked on, which I think most men want.

So then my second main man cried when I took him to school this morning and said he might just throw up. Fine. Whatever. He’s always A-OK when he gets home, he’ll have forgotten his trauma and we’ll have a wild wicked weekend, so I’m not buggin’ about it.

Thank God for Main Man No. 3, who was quite agreeable and merely chuckled in the principal’s office this morning while we were mapping out a contract that, should he abide by it, might, just might allow him to graduate from high school on time. Not a whimper nor moan from that one! Now if he’d just stop lying and sneaking out past curfew and . . .  at least he’s independent, right?

I don’t mind doing things for my babies. It wasn’t their idea to be here, it was ours. I’ll take DD to basketball practice tonight and his game on Saturday. I’ll coordinate rides for ‘Kids Night Out’ and do ‘Late Night Family Movie’ night once I get home from the hockey game Saturday. All good. Otherwise, yeah, like I said it’s all about me. Me! Well, and the ferrets and the dogs and DII’s party and . . . No, really, it’s gonna be great.